TheresaCaldwell.com

What You Tell Them

I rarely get a chance to listen to The Tom Joyner Morning Show after 9 o'clock, but yesterday was different.

I was having " one of those days" so naturally I was late heading into the office. As a result, I heard comedian D.L. Hughley praising his son's success in school. How wonderful! One of the things Hughley repeated was, "Kids believe what you tell them." He'd told his son that despite his challenges he could succeed, and he did. A positive message to start the day.

As adults, we believe what we're told a lot more often than we want to admit. And a lot of it is negative. However, yesterday I was blessed with a second positive message, but it was more challenging: "Running from love is a fall from grace." I think those are the words, because they were actually sung by Dan Reed. The words are from Reed's moving "The Dictator" on the  talented singer/songwriter/musician's upcoming CD Coming Up For Air. Keep your ears open for it this fall.

For much of the past 20 years, Reed was hitting charts and stages with the Dan Reed Network. The group brought stellar musicianship and vision to the rock world. Reed has traveled quite a bit since then, across the globe and his spiritual landscape. He has returned to music to tell us what he has learned from the journey, and that there is power in the stories we all live to tell.

What will you tell them today?

"Dare to Dream"

That was the the theme of today's "Sixth Grade Class Promotion Exercise Celebrating the High School Graduating Class of 2014" at The Arts & Technology Academy in Northeast Washington, DC. I was invited to be the Keynote Speaker, and loved every minute of it.

John Legend's "Dare to Dream" was the class theme song, encouraging them to "Just dream to fly as eagles fly across the sky." The star students' shining faces, sophisticated suits and shimmering white dresses proved they could dress for high-flying success, but their demeanor showed they have what it takes to earn it.

The ceremony was a Rites of Passage Beautillion/Belle Presentation that did my heart so much good that I was getting as misty-eyed as some of the parents. I felt like I could because I'd actually met a majority of the students early in the school year. My sister, one of their teachers, worked with me to have the students attend the Congressional Black Caucus Foundation's Annual Legislative Conference in September of 2007. They looked like kids then, not the mature young ladies and gentlemen I saw today. Several of them recognized me before I recognized them!

In keeping with their theme, I challenged them to DREAM BIG, DREAM CRAZY and have a DREAM TEAM. In a nutshell, I said that to Dream Big you dream beyond where you are right now. To Dream Crazy you dream beyond what you can see right now (and you know you're not the other "crazy" if you're asking yourself questions about how to turn your dream into reality). To have a Dream Team you get your parents, teachers and friends to support you in realizing your dream.

Being in their presence today was like being in a dream. I was surrounded by people of different ages and backgrounds who were working together toward a common goal. I could feel their pride and sense of accomplishment. I could hear Head of School Errick Greene whisper "I love my kids" throughout the program. There was a lot of love in that room. I admit that the celebration restored some of my faith in humanity. Hey, we all need our cup refilled once in a while.

Once again, CONGRATULATIONS to The Arts & Technology Academy's (former) 6th Graders. My prayer as I end this day is for everyone to dream of being in a room full of love, as I was today, and for that dream to come true.

Golden Lessons

My parents celebrated their Golden Anniversary on April 12th -- 50 years to the day after getting married. About 200 family members and friend-family members joined us for the celebration.

How many things have to go exactly right in order to stay married that long? First of all, you have to live long enough. All the while, your relationship must survive the challenges that come with any relationship. For too many people, maintaining a loving, respectful, supportive relationship for 50 weeks or 50 months is a success story.

I learned some valuable lessons from my parents, who I love dearly, and the process of celebrating their milestone. Here are a few:

*Maintain a sense of humor. Laughter really is the best medicine, and in our family there continues to be a great deal of it. Strong faith and a great sense of humor helped us forge loving connections in a family of two parents, five kids, several pets at various times, and lots of church and school activities. Now that there are three spouses and three grandchildren, there are even more opportunities for laughs.

*Be open to new experiences. My father took piano lessons when he was in his 60's, and my mother is so active that I'm often shocked when she is at home. In 2000, they helped establish the Knights of Peter Claver and Ladies Auxiliary in the Catholic Archdiocese of Washington, DC. For at least 40 years before that, the Knights of Peter Claver were not allowed to recruit in the Archdiocese. My parents have lived in other parts of the U.S. as well as overseas. Maybe that's why they are so energetic that I often forget their age, and if you didn't know their children you would have a hard time guessing.

*Value those who value you. It doesn't matter if a person is a family member, friend, colleague or customer, if they treat you as if you matter, return the favor. And it is a favor. One thing I've learned as I've grown older is that people don't have to treat you well, and often they don't.

*Respect others' gifts. A gift can be seen in a renowned musical genius, an elementary school teacher who has been turning out successful readers for years, or the trash collector who whistles and waves every morning and doesn't drop a scrap. Respect that! Doesn't it feel good when someone respects yours? Yes, you have one. I discovered during the anniversary preparations that my cousin Rosetta Watkins is an amazing event planner. I knew she had other gifts, including massage therapy, but event planning was new to me. I was delighted, especially since she just swooped in and went to work (another gift). By the way, I believe that the ability to be a good friend is one of the greatest gifts of all.

I could go on and on, but I just wanted to share some of the Golden Lessons I learned from my parents  as I reflect on their Golden Anniversary.  What a blessing! Not just to have a long relationship, but to be raised by people who do.

"Taking Agency" at Howard University

I had the privilege of speaking to students in two classes at Howard University yesterday. Their gifted and forward-thinking instructor, Wakeelah Mutazammil, asked me to talk to them about my internet radio show, Say It By Heart, and how web-based communication is helping more people -- particularly African Americans and other people of color -- share their point of view with the world.

Wakeelah called it Taking Agency, which we defined in class as our power to be change agents by being "one through which something is accomplished."

It is empowering to share how we feel, what we think and what we have accomplished (or would like to accomplish) without always having to leap through the flaming hoops of most established media. That can be especially significant for people of color, because our experiences and the ways we may want to express them don't readily fit into the definitions of acceptable or mass-market-profitable content for those who own and operate most media outlets. Not to mention the fact that there are only so many outlets anyway.

It is also empowering to use our web presence to advocate for issues we support, build our businesses and help those we are connected to do the same. And all of this on our own terms.

I loved the engagement and enthusiasm of the students! Many wanted to work for newspapers and magazines. There were musicians, filmmakers (Damien Coor mentioned he and his partner's website, as well as another student's Paul Robeson Award nomination), an actress and one who said he wanted to open a Gentleman's Club. Another student is a gifted hair and makeup artist. A student who knew that he wanted to teach and inspire was himself inspired (I know I was) when another student affirmed his natural gift for speech pathology.

I took the opportunity to tell them that they should take advantage of internships, and don't just stand around and be told step-by-step what to do.  Take agency by showing some initiative, and let those you're working with know your interests.

As for the web, I was happy to learn that most of the students were already actively using it. Most college students these days are so tech savvy! I encouraged them to not just socialize, immediately start taking agency. Register a domain name using their name or some derivative of it, if possible, and use whatever web presence they have "to be one through which something is accomplished."

Overall, I felt that most of them actively used the greatest skill of all great communicators. They listened. For that, I am most grateful.

Collaborate ... Cultivate ... Connect

The first WBIS (Women Building & Investing In Success) Special Event of 2008 was an absolute winner. It was held April 9th at the Waterford in Springfield, VA, and featured special guest speaker Sarah Michel, author of Perfecting Connecting: A Personal Guide to Mastering Networking in the Workplace. The event took the WBIS motto "Collaborate ... Cultivate ... Celebrate" to a new level.

About 50 people filled the room, mostly women, all entrepreneurs who soaked up the great information Michel shared about things like effectively introducing yourself to others, tapping the power of your database and understanding our differences so we can better connect.

That's right. Sarah Michel insists that we "connect," not network. No more collecting business cards like a mad woman (or man) thinking that if you don't do business you've wasted your time. She even shared her own inspiring story about how "connections" helped her beat back cancer. Being present and of service to others is never a waste of time. And who knows? You might make money. You might even save a life -- your own or that of someone you care about.

Bravo to WBIS leader Sheila Dixon of S&E Marketing Concepts for connecting with Sarah Michel and other adventurous women over the years, and enjoying the heck out of keeping the connections going!

My Buddy

I tend to wait until later in the day to check out The Washington Post's Style Section. It's one of those personal reward things. And it was worth the wait today for a little piece on Buddy Guy's performance the other night at The Birchmere, a cool local spot to catch live music (which you can never get enough of).

It took me back several years to one of my favorite trips to Newport, RI. I was helping my friend Sue Auclair backstage at the Newport Jazz Festival. She was excited about seeing Buddy Guy. I'd heard of him, but my deadpan reaction was, "I'm not into the Blues." Sue just raced off saying, "You'll see."

I saw alright. The Post article's description shows he is still truly awesome, in every sense of the word.
And he's even older now! Back then it was raining cats and dogs on the outdoor day of music by the time Guy took the stage. After about a minute or two people forgot the rain. They stood clapping and dancing, and when he walked into the sopping and swaying crowd working that guitar it was pure magic. Even I, Miss Not Into The Blues, found myself twirling under a plastic poncho in the backstage mud. I had to call Sue to reminisce. Her amazing memory of the details of that day made me chuckle. I see: the Blues can actually lift your spirits.

Life's blues would be easier for all of us to take if accompanied by Buddy Guy's guitar.