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What A Wonderful World

In the beautiful, old song, Louis Armstrong has to think to himself "what a wonderful world." We don't have to do that anymore. We can actually see it.

Today, NASA released a new, high-definition picture of our Great Space Coaster (remember that old show?). Wow!

But I must say, I was a bit startled by the size of the dry-looking part of the United States. We better treat our water supplies better. And plant a few trees, for Earth's sake! It's also obvious that we better do a better job of keeping the ones we have.

Despite all of that, I was overwhelmed by the beauty of Mother Earth, and the brilliance of humanity that could develop a better way to see her. Now we need more vision.

Self-Confidence for 2012

Jack Canfield, who helped launch the Chicken Soup for the Soul series of books, was one of the guests on WHUR's The Audrey Chapman Show on New Year's Eve. He said a lot of great stuff, but the thing that crossed my mind a few minutes ago was what he said about self-confidence.

Canfield said, "Self-confidence is the result of successfully surviving risk."

I thought of that a few minutes ago because I was looking over the pieces I wrote for the Kingstowne Patch last year. Most of the people I talked to were (and still are) entrepreneurs, who are experts at surviving risk.

I decided that the best way to pump up my - or anyone's - self-confidence in 2012 is to spend more time with entrepreneurs. That means talking to them, supporting them, and spreading the word when you have a great experience with one. The people I talked to shared their passion, energy, and joy with me. They knew the risks, but felt compelled to go for it, anyway. The fact that they were still standing, still opening the door every day, still pursuing their passion was inspiring.

Finding your passion is great. But if you haven't it's still possible to take calculated risks in what you do every day, and survive in ways that boost your self-confidence. Speak up to share your hair-brained idea at work. Try that new recipe. Take that community acting or writing class. Set that weight loss goal and knock it out of the park. I did that one last year, and darn it if I don't feel more confident.

Here's wishing you more self-confidence in 2012! No matter how much you have, if you're not acting like a jerk I'm sure the angels sing when you take an additional dose. Work it, baby!

Audrey Chapman Show - January 2012

Here we are again, at a beginning.

The challenge with beginnings is that they are prompted by endings, and some endings are better than others. No matter how the ending played out, you're thrown into the transition process. A lot of times when this happens, especially at the beginning of the all-important New Year, you feel like there's nothing you can do but keep it moving - maybe hoping things will be better, or at least not worse.

You are always in choice about how to take that necessary next step into ... whatever ... whether you feel that way or not.

One of my favorite things about serving as producer and substitute host of WHUR's The Audrey Chapman Show is that it always, in some way, promotes the idea that you are in choice. And with choice, you possess a great power.

How will you wield that power this year?

This month's shows all support you as you begin within, one of the most challenging things to do. However, it is always worthwhile, even if it does not always feel that way at certain stages of the journey. So ... if you haven't done it yet, start your engines!

SATURDAY, JANUARY 7th

Topic: HE SAID WHAT?!

Guest: Patricia Evans, author, “Victory Over Verbal Abuse”

How do you know whether what he – or she – said to you was arrogant or abusive? Is it hard for you to tell the difference because it feels like the stuff you heard growing up? Maybe the person is fighting for control, but the bottom line is the same: how can you tell, and what should you do about it? Call for answers that could change your life.

SATURDAY, JANUARY 14th

Topic: NO HOLIDAY PROPOSAL? CONGRATULATIONS!

Guest: Mari Ruti, author, “The Summons of Love”

You’ve done it again. You’re head over heels in love with a (your curse word here), and your heart is breaking because the person is not playing their part in your romantic fantasy. That’s most likely a blessing, but you’re too busy spinning on the wheel of woe-is-me to see it. Don’t miss this opportunity to set yourself free from the pains of passion.

SATURDAY, JANUARY 21st

Topic: NO MORE DRAMA!

Guests: Audrey Chapman, author, “Getting Good Loving”

Sil Lai Abrams, author, “No More Drama”

Did your New Year’s resolutions include a promise to yourself that there would be no more drama? It may be challenging, but you can keep this promise to yourself. Call Audrey for help, support, and to share your own tips for dumping drama.

SATURDAY, JANUARY 28th

Topic: ARRGGGHHHH! (CRISIS HERE) IS GOING TO HAPPEN!

Guests: Dr. Carol J. Scott, author, “Optimal Stress: Living in Your Best Stress Zone”

            Susan Orsillo/Lizabeth Roemer, authors, “The Mindful Way Through Anxiety”

Stressful events are going to happen, and your anxiety level is rising just thinking about that. Stop worrying! Join Audrey and her guests to pick up tools you can use right away to help you better identify and deal with stressful situations.

BE A PART OF EVERY SHOW! Call 202-319-7810 or 1-855-288-4876.

Special programming note: The first hour of the show, beginning every Saturday at 8:00 a.m. ET, is simulcast on WHUR, 96.3 FM, and the new H.U.R. Voices, SiriusXM Channel 141. The second hour is found exclusively on H.U.R. Voices.

Audrey Chapman Show - December

Wow! Can you believe it's already the last month of 2011? I guess the feeling that time flies is one of the first signs of aging. Another is the increasing pace of change.

Change comes up a lot on WHUR's The Audrey Chapman Show this month. First, the show itself is changing. Starting this Saturday, December 3rd, the first hour of the show (8:00 a.m. ET) will be simulcast on H.U.R. Voices, SiriusXM Channel 141. The second hour (9:00 a.m. ET) will be broadcast exclusively on H.U.R. Voices, which launched today. This expands the show's audience, which is very nice. You really can't get enough good information about how to relate to yourself and others.

On December 17th, join me when I substitute host the conversation about SAD. Here is the full, change-oriented show schedule:

SATURDAY, DECEMBER 3rd

Topic: PASSING THROUGH LOSS

Guests: Robert Pruitt, author, “It is Well With My Soul!”

Robin McMahon, co-author, “Good Mourning” (available for free from Capital Caring)

If you have not already lost someone who is close to you, you will. Join Audrey and her guests for ways to move through the heartbreak of loss, especially during the holidays.

SATURDAY, DECEMBER 10th

Topic: THE POWER TO CHANGE

Guests: A Panel of Washington Metropolitan Area Listeners

The show always offers tools for changing your life, but the power to pick them up and use them is inside you. Meet people who have done it, and encourage you to do it, too.

SATURDAY, DECEMBER 17th

Topic: ARE YOU SAD, OR IS IT SAD (SEASONAL AFFECTIVE DISORDER)?

Guest: Dr. Norman Rosenthal, author, “Transcendence,” “Winter Blues”

Between the dark days of winter, the intensity of the holidays, and the overindulgence, it’s a miracle more people aren’t depressed. But is SAD at work, too? Find out today.

SATURDAY, DECEMBER 24th

Topic: IT’S THE HOLIDAYS AND I AIN’T GOT NOBODY

Guest: Dr. Jeff Gardere, author, “Love Prescription,” Healthguru.com chief contributor

Stop moaning and worrying about being alone. Get up, get out, and get the full experience of “the single life.” Not sure how? Call in for tough love, and to lighten up.

SATURDAY, DECEMBER 31st

Topic: LIVING WITHOUT REGRETS

Guests: Jack Canfield, co-author, “The Golden Motorcycle Gang”

            Byron Katie, author, “Loving What Is”

            Karl Pillemer, “30 Lessons for Living”

Have a truly happy new year. Tune in to be inspired to live without regret from day one.

BE A PART OF EVERY SHOW! Call 202-319-7810 or 1-855-288-4876.

Audrey Chapman Show - November

This month on WHUR's The Audrey Chapman Show there will be a lot of talk about men - what they think about love, sex, and power plays. Yes, relationships of all types have power plays. In fact, some of the most intense are in personal relationships.

Audrey also has a special event on November 9th, 7:00 p.m., at the Oxon Hill, MD library. For details check out her site, and to register click here. The event is free, but you must register.

The show schedule is below, and don't miss updates on the show blog.

SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 5th

Topic: WHAT MEN DON’T KNOW ABOUT WOMEN AND SEX

Guests: Nick Chiles, co-author, “What Brothers Think, What Sistahs Know” books

Mikaya Heart, author, “The Ultimate Guide to Orgasm for Women”

Don’t miss this opportunity to find out what works, what doesn’t, and why, when it comes to women and sexual satisfaction. Plus, why that means so much to men, and why it takes them so long to figure things out and make adjustments.

SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 12th

Topic: DO BLACK MEN EVEN LIKE BLACK WOMEN?

Guests: Dr. William July II, author, “Understanding the Tin Man”

            Panel of Washington Metropolitan Area Men

Tune in as real men share how they really feel about black women. Someone to pass on the street because she’s full of attitude, his queen, and everything in between. Every way men view black women will be up for discussion, whether women want to hear it or not.

SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 19th

Topic: WHY MEN ARE SO FOCUSED ON SEX

Guest: Dr. Barry McCarthy, author, “Enduring Desire,” “Men’s Sexual Health”

This has baffled women for almost as long as there have been men and women, but there may be good reasons for it. If this scares or bothers you, call in for help and support.

SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 26th

Topic: NOT GREAT EXPECTATIONS

Guest: Audrey Chapman, author, “Getting Good Loving”

Are you serious?! You really expect him to do that, and all the time? Your expectations may be unrealistic, and the sooner you face that fact the better. You think he may have a sense of entitlement? Look in the mirror! Maybe you’ve got one, too. Ask Audrey!

NOTE: The November 26th show may expand to include a wider variety of issues. Stay tuned.

BE A PART OF EVERY SHOW! Call 202-432-9487 or 1-800-221-9487.

Letting Go

Hank Stuever has an "Appreciation" of Steve Jobs on The Washington Post website. I found myself reading this part repeatedly:

"Under [Jobs'] leadership, Apple’s subliminal selling point was: Let it go. Let go of the uneasiness about computers. Let go of ugly, antique technology. Let go of the fantasy future of personal rocketships. Let go of the expensive, shiny new phone that you bought last year for the slightly less expensive, shiny new phone that’s coming out this year. But let go of something deeper, something resistant in you that romanticizes the past."

God rest Steve Jobs. I appreciate his work to propel us into the future.

Letting go is hard in and of itself, and now we must let him go with the angels.

It doesn't matter what it is we're letting go of. I want to give a shout out to everyone who is doing their best to let go of something or someone. It is an ending, and most of us are forced to accept those endings without much support or enough time to mourn them. And they all deserve some level of mourning.

I find myself looking forward to what comes next in many ways, but tiring of an energy that seeks to propel me forward whether I want/need to or not. Especially if I have to pay for it, and it's not necessarily that inexpensive.

Steve Jobs said in the now famous 2005 Stanford commencement speech that he was lucky to find work he loved, and reminded us that our time is limited and not to waste it.

I don't want to waste time trying to keep up with what is mostly "stuff," which Apple products are if we're honest with ourselves. Yes, this stuff has changed a great deal about the way we live, but it's stuff just the same. This stuff helps us do the thing humans have always done: connect with each other in one way or another.

So I'm going to do my best to split the difference. I'm not going to waste time trying to keep up with every iteration of the iPhone or anything else, but I will joyfully embrace the fact that the future will bring more of them as well as things I can't imagine. And I will loosen my grip on the parts of the past that are just habit, while remaining respectful of the aspects of the past that inform and enrich life in this moment and the future.

Audrey Chapman Show - October

The theme for WHUR's The Audrey Chapman Show this month is "Knowing when a relationship is the real thing." That's not always easy to do, especially during the first several months. Maybe years! It helps to be clear about who you are and what you want, but it's often easier to fool ourselves than others.

Here's to love!

SATURDAY, OCTOBER 1st

Topic: OPEN PHONES

Guest: You

Call Audrey with any relationship issue that’s on your mind, especially if you’re wondering if you’ve found the real thing. She’s got tips about how you can tell.

SATURDAY, OCTOBER 8th

Topic: LOVE LIKE YOU’VE NEVER BEEN HURT

Guest: Rev. Dr. Leonard N. Smith, Senior Minister-Mount Zion Baptist Church

Sounds simple, but we all know it’s not. Shake off the pain of past relationships so you can love again. Find out how by participating in this preview of Audrey’s October 15^th event at Reverend Smith’s Arlington church. For seminar details, call 703-979-7411.

SATURDAY, OCTOBER 15th

Topic: LET GO!

Guest: Karen Casey, author, “Codependence and the Power of Detachment”

You thought you’d found the real thing, but recent situations make you wonder. Tune in for help in figuring out if it’s time to “detach” from your lover – for now, or for good.

SATURDAY, OCTOBER 22nd

Topic: WHY DO I KEEP ATTRACTING THESE NON-FUNCTIONING PEOPLE?!

Guest: Pam Reaves, author, “Is It Love … Or Merely a Sick Attachment?”

You let go of a relationship that wasn’t working, but now you feel like you landed in another one. And this person is worse. But you love him/her! Is it real love, or just sick?

SATURDAY, OCTOBER 29th

Topic: THE OTHER WOMAN

Guest: Elizabeth Abbott, author, “Mistresses, A History of the Other Woman”

Is a relationship with a mistress always just about sex? How does she feel about it? What do mistresses know about real relationships that wives/partners don’t? You won’t want to miss this show!

Saturdays, 8:00-10:00 a.m., WHUR, 96.3 FM, Live with Callers.

BE A PART OF EVERY SHOW! Call 202-432-9487 or 1-800-221-9487.

Valuing Communication

This past Saturday I had the amazing experience of substitute hosting for WHUR's The Audrey Chapman Show. Wow! Check out my "Living a Values-Filled Life" notes on the show blog.

The show got me thinking. I am a strong believer in the power of communication. I am a very good communicator, but I also value communication so much that I work every day to be the best communicator I can be in every experience. I don't always succeed, but I always try.

Here are a handful of things that have come up recently as I continue exploring the possibilities of communication:

*No matter how good you are, you can always be better. And yes, that can be said about almost everything in life.

*Listening is more than not talking. Check your commitment to the person who is speaking, your assumptions about them and what they are saying, and your emotional attachment to what is being shared. These can all have a profound impact on your conversation with that person. I am learning a great deal about listening from the International Listening Association. You can, too.

*"Just the facts ma'am." Well, not always. Just because someone said something, or you read something somewhere, that doesn't make it true. Check it out. I've come to feel that a lot of things are stated as if they are facts when they are actually data (more often it's partial data) with someone's particular slant added to it. As the political sparring heats up through next year, get ready for lots of that.

*What's the point? When you say something, please try to have one. It's amazing how often we are not clear about where we're headed with something before it starts spilling from our lips. If you're not sure it's usually OK to say so. Some of the best conversations I've ever been in included someone's admission that they didn't know how to say something, or exactly what they wanted to say. However, feel free to pause a moment to check in with yourself before you begin.

*You don't have to speak for a long time to say something worthwhile. Lincoln's Gettysburg Address was so short, especially for his day, that the photographer wasn't completely set up before it was over. My conversations with small business people for Patch articles are not that long, but I learn so much from them.

Need I say more?

 

Audrey Chapman Show - September

This month promises to be a great one on WHUR's The Audrey Chapman Show, and not just because I'm filling in for Audrey on Saturday, September 10th, starting at about 20 minutes after 8:00 a.m. ET. The show begins with Audrey's pre-recorded interview with bestselling author Rabbi Shmuley Boteach, then I come on with two great, live guests.

Check out the schedule. I look forward to you joining us!

SATURDAY, SEPTEMBER 3rd

Topic: You’re So Vain You Probably Think This Show Is About You

Guest: None

He was flashy and swept you off your feet. She was attractive and you felt like a million bucks when your arm was around her. The WOW factor was overwhelming, until he/she started cheating and doing other things to make you see that their “love” is only for themselves. Learn how to spot a narcissist before they get too close.

SATURDAY, SEPTEMBER 10th

Topic: A Values-Filled Life

Guests: Rabbi Shmuley Boteach, author, “Renewal”

            Dr. Alton B. Pollard, III, Dean, Howard University School of Divinity

            Dr. Mary Gentile, author, “Giving Voice to Values”

What are your values? When we say “values” what do we mean? These days it may be hard to know what your values are, and twice as hard to stick to them. Tune in for an inspiring discussion about living a values-filled life.

SATURDAY, SEPTEMBER 17th

Topic: Is Marriage for White People?

Guests: Ralph Richard Banks, author, “Is Marriage for White People?”

            Karyn Langhorne Folan, author, “Don’t Bring Home a White Boy”

Don’t miss what promises to be one of the most provocative shows of the year. Banks will share his research on why African American men and women remain unmarried. One reason for the men: too many choices. For women: too few choices. Folan will talk about why she expanded her options, and how her “sisters” can, too.

SATURDAY, SEPTEMBER 24th

Topic: Love Beyond the PTSD (Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder)

Guests: Dr. Norman Rosenthal, author, “Transcendence”

            Dr. Diane England, author, “The Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder Relationship”

Being in a war zone isn’t the only thing that can leave you with PTSD. Surviving a fire, being exposed to violence, or any number of other events can leave you with PTSD. Find out what it is and how to live and love your way through it.

BE A PART OF EVERY SHOW! Call 202-432-9487 or 1-800-221-9487.

Say YES to Media Requests

That was the theme of my remarks and activities for the WBIS (Women Building & Investing in Success) luncheon on Thursday, August 11th.

Time is a concern, especially for solopreneurs and other small business owners. However, time can be used as a way of handling fear or discomfort about being "in the media." Take some time to make sure time is the real issue. If not, say YES the next time you get an opportunity to be in the media.

Here is a short video with a few of the tips I shared during the WBIS luncheon about ways to make yourself more comfortable once you've decided to say YES to a media request.